What's Inside This Guide?
Our domestic abuse and mediation guide covers:
- What counts as domestic abuse Physical, emotional, financial, and coercive control
- When mediation is not safe Clear red flags and exemptions from MIAM requirements
- Safeguarding measures Shuttle mediation, screens, support persons, and timing
- Alternatives to mediation Legal options and court protections available
- Where to get help Specialist support services and emergency contacts
Recognizing Different Forms of Abuse
Domestic abuse isn't just physical violence. It includes emotional abuse (put-downs, isolation, threats), financial abuse (controlling money, preventing work), and coercive control (monitoring, restricting freedom, making all decisions).
If you've experienced any form of domestic abuse, you are exempt from the requirement to attend a MIAM before applying to court. Your safety comes first.
- Physical abuse - hitting, pushing, physical intimidation
- Emotional abuse - insults, humiliation, threats, isolation
- Financial abuse - controlling money, sabotaging employment
- Coercive control - monitoring, restricting, making all decisions
- Sexual abuse - forcing or coercing sexual activity
When Mediation Is Not Appropriate
Mediation requires both parties to negotiate on equal footing. Where there's been abuse, that power balance doesn't exist. The abusive partner may use mediation to continue controlling, intimidating, or manipulating.
If you don't feel safe being in the same space - even virtually - as your ex-partner, mediation is not right for you. Court proceedings offer more protection.
Getting Help and Support
If you're experiencing domestic abuse, contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (available 24/7). For legal advice, contact Rights of Women on 020 7251 6577 or Refuge on 0808 2000 247.
In an emergency, always call 999. If you can't speak, dial 999 then press 55 to alert police silently.